December's Online Parenting Class Part 2

PLANNING “ON PURPOSE” TIME WITH YOUR TEENAGER PART 2

Dear Parent,

Out of the mouths of babes! If you haven’t had a chance to watch last week’s video, you may want to take a moment and hear what teenagers are saying about spending “on purpose” time with their parents! http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/65615027/02192fbe51

Just to make it clear, they want to spend time with us. Even if it’s hard. Especially if it’s hard. It means that we aren’t going anywhere. It means that we love them unconditionally, first. There is something to be said about being someone’s priority. And “on purpose” time tells your teenager that they are definitely your priority.

Schedules are packed, time is scarce, patience is often thin. And it is for that very reason why this is so important! Just ask yourself how you would feel if another person dropped everything just to invest in you. You might never receive encouragement, or a thank you, or even a grunt from your teenager. But you will make an impact, because you are their greatest influence!

Walking this journey with you,

Ricc

December's Online Parenting Class Part 1

PLANNING “ON PURPOSE” TIME WITH YOUR TEENAGER

Dear Parents,

The phrase for this month that we are focusing on is “on purpose.” There are so many things that we give priority to and make sure that we are intentional about. Is spending time with your teenager one of those things?

Are you “on purpose” or intentional about scheduling a specific time with your teen with no outside distractions? Do you think your teenager even cares?

Take a moment if you will and watch this video about what our teenagers think about spending “on purpose” time with their parents. It might just surprise you!

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/65615027/02192fbe51

Your Partner in Parenting,

Ricc

November Online Parenting Class Part 2

HARNESSING YOUR SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE PT 2

Dear Parents,

I just want you to know that I am your biggest fan! You as a parent stand on the front lines when it comes to raising your teen and take the hardest hits. And you need to know that you aren’t alone. Someone is rooting for you and it’s me. That’s why understanding the role you as parents have in the spiritual training of your teen is so important.

It can get a little mixed up at times. I know it’s easier to let someone else argue your point for you, but you need to know that your teen listens to you much more than anyone else. It doesn’t seem like it, I know, but it is true.

I want to be your backup, not the other way around.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

This verse is not a guarantee that your child will “repeat” your faith but it is an assurance that your influence in their lives makes an impression that they can’t forget. It is my goal to cheer you on as you make your mark of influence on the soul of your teenager. Let’s work together to paint such a beautiful picture of Christ that they run to Him with their trust.

Have God-confidence in your ability to train them to become Godly adults. After all, He chose you to be their parent.

Walking this journey with you,

Ricc

November Online Parenting Class Part 1

HARNESSING YOUR SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE PT 1

Dear Parents,

What is a baked potato without a steak? French fries without a juicy hamburger? Salad dressing without a salad (for those healthy eaters)? It is incomplete and somehow lacking. The same goes for the spiritual teaching in our teenager’s life if we as parents don’t become actively involved. The youth ministry was never intended to be the sole source of spiritual training.

Ask yourself this question. Who do I depend on to teach my teenager the precepts of God? This question is often easy to answer but very hard to admit. You don’t need a degree in theology to have confidence in teaching your teenager about who God is and what you believe. You just need His confidence. It’s called God-confidence.

I encourage you to watch this month’s video regarding your role vs. the role of your youth ministry in the spiritual education of your teen. It will give you a good idea on how to become involved: http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/62786302/51734c2974

Walking this journey with you,

Ricc

White Picket Fences Part 2

HUGE PARENT RESOURCE!

From Granger Community Church

Last week I sent you a link to a sermon about parenting from Granger Community Church called White Picket Fences.  If you didn't watch it you really need to go back and watch it!  This week I am sending you a link to the next sermon in that series called, Parenting in a Technical World.  If you forward to 00:22:23 you will go straight to the message.  This is a great message on parenting your students and their electronics.  I don't know about you but this is a huge issue in my house. How much time do we allow them to be on their gadgets?  How do we safeguard them from harmful stuff?  How do we monitor them?  I watched this video and came away with some great stuff!  If anything, forward to 1 hour in (01:00:00) and watch the segment on Parental Controls on the iPhone.  This is a great tutorial on protecting your teen by setting up controls on their phone.  Also, here is a link on some resources for setting up parental controls on Android phones too.  As a parent you can't afford not to watch this!  Just trying to give you some tools!

Your Biggest Fan,

Ricc

October Online Parenting Class Part 2

SIBLING RIVALRY PT 2

Dear Parent,

We are talking about sibling rivalry this month and if you missed the video from our last email, you can go to https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/60761630/c5128ceae7 to catch up!

This isn’t an easy issue by a stretch.  We are dealing with unique individuals with specific ideas that haven’t learned yet that the idea they are holding so tightly to very possibly could be flawed.  This might actually come as a surprise to your teen.  Teenagers react very passionately to perceived injustices.

It reminds me of Luke 9 when Jesus was speaking to His disciples after His transfiguration.  It should have been one of the most spiritually encouraging events for his disciples but somehow it ended up in an argument about who had more importance to Jesus among the Twelve.  Sibling rivalry.  All Jesus had to say was, “Whoever is least among you, this one is the greatest.”

We have to teach our teens that it’s about others.  But first our actions will be much louder than our words!

Your Biggest Fan,

Ricc

October Online Class Part 1

SIBLING RIVALRY

Dear Parents,

Have you ever heard that silence can be loud?  It’s that very loud, very obvious absence of sound after your teenager has just had another argument with their sibling and stomped off in the other direction.  Does it ever stop?  Do they really love each other?

We will be discussing sibling rivalry this month and what you, as the parent, can do to foster relationship between your teen and their sibling(s).

Please take a moment and watch this 3 minute and  47 second video that may help give you some idea as to what is going on in their heads.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/60761630/c5128ceae7

Your Partner in Ministry,

Ricc

September Online Class Part 2

THE POWER OF AN APOLOGY PT 2

Harnessing the Power of an Apology

Dear Parents,
This month we are talking about harnessing the Power of an Apology. If you missed the video from last session, you can go here to check it out: http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/58729615/5464b55bdd

In Jesus’ first public sermon recorded in Matthew 5 there is a hidden gem that might be easily missed.  It is nestled between two scandalous statements about murder and lawsuits. You might skim past it if you’re not looking for it.

In Matthew 5: 23-24 Jesus said that if you come to worship to leave an offering and are reminded of a conflict against a friend, go seek reconciliation with urgency. Then return to the altar and offer the gift of worship.
My question for you today is how could you live the truth of that Scripture today in your home?

Here are some thoughts to get you started answering that question:

Forgiveness Matters- Jesus prioritized forgiveness and reconciliation in this passage. It is essential to healthy relationships and families.

Don’t Wait- There is a sense of urgency in this passage. Jesus placed importance on pursuing reconciliation quickly.

Forgiveness Unleashes Worship- After reconciliation takes place there is an invitation to return to worship God in freedom.

Here are some quick questions to end with today:

• Is there conflict in your home that you are concerned about right now?
• Are you seeking reconciliation with urgency?
• Are you prioritizing forgiveness in your relationships?
• Would your teenager say that your home is a place of grace?
• Let Jesus’ words inspire you today to experience peace in your home and pursue reconciliation in your family.

Feel free to share with me your thoughts about this online parenting class. I look forward to connecting with you next month.

Ricc

Septembers Online Class Part 1

THE POWER OF AN APOLOGY

Dear Parents,

This month we are going to talk about harnessing the Power of an Apology.
Teenagers learn by watching their parent’s example more than anything else. There is no better way to teach your teenager important life skills than to model them each day.

One of the life skills that marks maturity the most is when your teenager learns to accept responsibility for what they have done.

Please take 3 minutes and 18 seconds and watch this video that gives a clear example of how you can help your teenager learn this important life skill.

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/58729615/5464b55bdd

Our student ministry has your back in this parenting adventure. If you need someone to talk to, pray with, or someone to just listen please let us know.

Until our next class,

Ricc

August's Online Class Part 2

THE POWER OF A SHARED EXPERIENCE

August's Online Class Part 2

Dear Parents,

I hope you enjoyed the last parenting class that talked about the power of a shared experience. In that session I asked you to consider what it would be like if you strategically planned a significant shared experience with your teenager each year?
In this online parenting class I want to walk you through seven experiences that I believe you can share with your teenager throughout the adolescent journey.

I want to tell you ahead of time that our student ministry has material available to help you plan each one of these experiences. Our goal is to help you create significant shared experiences with your teenager.

6th grade – Preparation for Adolescence – In this shared experience you will spend five 15 to 20 minute appointments discussing with your sixth grader the changes that they are going through physically, mentally, and spiritually. These will typically happen before bed each night for a week.

7th grade – Blessing Ceremony – In this shared experience you communicate to your teenager that they are no longer a child by offering them a biblical blessing. It is a chance for them to recognize that they are growing and changing, and their relationship with you will grow and change as well.

8th grade – Purity Weekend – In this shared experience you will get away with your teenager for a weekend to enjoy a fun getaway. During this time you will also share with them the dreams in your heart in the area of purity. It will be a chance for you to teach them that waiting for marriage is not crazy, but it is God’s beautiful plan for them.

9th grade – Driving Contract – This shared experience allows you to spend an evening with your ninth grader discussing with them the way you are going to handle building and rebuilding trust during the years that they’ll be driving a car. Together you’ll sign a driving contract that will serve as a communication tool to help you in these crucial years to come.

10th grade – Money Matters – This shared experience allows you to spend an evening with your teenager having a little bit of fun and teaching a really important life skill. By having your teenager guess what is spent in your household budget monthly you’ll get an idea of what they know about how to manage money. You’ll also get a chance to share with them eight biblical principles on how to manage money God’s way.

11th grade – Family Tree – In this shared experience you will allow your teenager the chance to learn their family heritage. They will never know who they’re going to be unless they take some time to learn where they come from.

12 grade – Manhood/Womanhood Ceremony – In this shared experience you will host a grand finale to the parenting journey. It will be your chance to unleash your new adult into the world by blessing them as a grown adult.

I will end our time today by asking you one quick question. Did you get all seven of these shared experiences in a healthy way from your parents when you were a teenager? What an investment it would be to give these experiences to your teenager.

There is power in a shared experience. A shared experience can be a gift you give your teenager that will set them up for a life that is driven by faith.

As always if you have any prayer requests, thoughts to share, or questions for me feel free to reply to this email.

Until our next class,

Ricc

August's Class: The Power of A Shared Experience Part 1

THE POWER OF A SHARED EXPERIENCE, PART 1

Dear Parents,

I want to begin by thanking you for participating in this online parenting class. This has been a wonderful way for me to get to know the parents in our ministry.
My goal with this online parenting class is to encourage your family to continue to grow in your faith together.
Today we are going to talk about shared experiences you have with your teenager. There is power in a shared experience. You share many experiences with your teenager. Some of them are great and some of them are not so great.

• you share vacations together
• you share holidays together
• you share crisis and tragedy together
• you share mission trips together

What would happen if you strategically planned a significant shared experience with your teenager each year designed to help pass down your faith to them?
Here’s a short video that can help you get started in that direction. Enjoy!
http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/56713948/7bc91229fa
Your biggest fan,

Ricc

July's Class: The Power of a Symbol

THE POWER OF A SYMBOL

Online Parenting Class Month #5

Dear Parents,

I want to talk to you today about symbols.  A symbol is an object that has meaning attached to it, but it is also a great tool in the parent’s tool belt.

Here are some examples of important symbols you may have in your life that carry important meaning:

• a wedding ring
• refrigerator art from when your teenager was a child
• a family heirloom that was passed down to you
• a moment in time that was captured in a photograph
• an item from your childhood home that takes you back in time when you look at it

Symbols are powerful.  Today I would like to suggest that you harness the power of symbols to help pass down faith to your teenager.

Here is a 3 minute and 13 second video that helps you do that.  Just click on the link below:

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/54562229/9a4e22dcc5

This online Parenting Class is my way to encourage you as a parent.  Your job is so important, and our student ministry is cheering you on as you pass down faith to your teenager.

If you have a prayer request or if you want to talk with me about your student just reply to this email.  I look forward to serving your family.

Cheering you on,

RC

P.S. Please feel free to forward these emails to any other Parents of Teenagers that you would like to encourage

Rebel and Repeat Part 2

Here's Your Machete!

Today I would like to begin by handing you a machete.

A machete is a long knife used in the jungle to cut through thick brush and create a path.

I want to hand you a figurative machete and inspire you to start beating down a path through life for your teenager to follow.

There is no greater spiritual influence in the life of your teenager than you. As your teenager’s youth minister, the smartest thing I can do is to set you up to blaze a trail of spiritual heritage for your teenager to follow.

That is why I want to encourage you to live out Psalm 145:4 with your teenager.

“One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.”

Here are 3 ways you can blaze a spiritual path for your teenager:

1. Close the old trails- You might have had a trail marked out for you by your parents that led to lots of pain. You don’t have to continue that path. You can close that trail and mark a new one for your teenager to follow.
2. Mark the trail in word and deed- Far too often we try to make a spiritual impact on our teenager through words alone. Consider adding actions to your words. This has a multiplying effect on the integrity and influence you have with your teenager.
3. Don’t force it- You can mark a beautiful path for them to follow. You can make the entrance clear. You can shine a light on it showing them where to go. But you can’t make them follow the path. That is ultimately their choice. You can’t control their faith decisions, you can only guide them.

If you haven’t checked our the Rites of Passage Experience yet, please go here to check it out. It is another simple and powerful way that you and I can work together to blaze a trail and help you pass down your faith to your teenager.

June's Class: Rebel & Repeat! Part 1

Rebel and Repeat!

Welcome to June's online parenting class.  I am going to begin by asking you to visit your past.  One way to dynamically change your home is to have the courage to visit your own teenage experience and consider the ways you would REBEL and REPEAT.

Here is a 2 minute and 51 second video that will introduce you to this very practical exercise called REBEL and REPEAT.

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/52190563/a0a246a34e

Here are two questions that I would love for you to answer:

1. As you raise your teenager, what is one thing that you want to rebel against from your own teenage experience?
2. As you raise your teenager, what is one thing that you want to repeat from your own teenage experience?

If you would like to share your answers with me, I would love to hear them.  Just reply to this email with your answers. Thanks for taking some time today to spend with me. I love serving your family.

May's Class: The Rewind & Flash Forward Part 1

Helping You Stay Calm When Your Teenager Isn’t!

In the last session of our online parenting class we talked about Reacting vs. Responding when communicating with your teenager.  Today, I want to continue that thought by sharing with you  a very practical tip to help you stay calm when your teenager is not calm.  It’s called the Rewind and the Flash Forward.

 

You can watch this short video to learn how you can try it out this week in your home.

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/50506222/14e8a4cab6

 

I hope this helps you to apply what we have been learning.  In our next session we will give ourselves an “Attitude Check”.  I am looking forward to it, and I hope you are too.

 

Have a great week,

Ricc

REACTING VS RESPONDING PART 2

What is the Difference Between Reacting & Responding? PT 2

Responding To Your Teen in a Healthy Way!

Dear FSM Parents,

It’s time again for our online parenting class. I hope you are enjoying the bite-sized parenting encouragement.

You might be wondering if you can invite other parents to join our online parenting class and the answer is “YES”! You can just send them to www.brandonyouth.com and have them subscribe to the weekly newsletter on the PARENTS page.
 
This month we are talking about how to RESPOND to your teenager instead of REACTING to your teenager.


Did you do your homework from last week? Have you looked up Proverbs 15:1?
This great truth is the first thought that you can bring to your minds and hearts when your teenager opens the door of frustration in your relationship.

But for this lesson I am going to suggest to you three quick thoughts that you can go through like a checklist in your head to keep you from losing your temper:
 
1) Pray this short prayer first: “God give me grace in the moment”. It is impossible to maintain control of your emotion apart from the grace of God, so be willing to ask for it.
 
2) Ask yourself, “What can I teach them right now?” This thought will keep you focused on the greater parenting task which is teaching them the beliefs and life skills they need to become an adult.
 
3) Consider the context. What physical changes could be causing this behavior? What relational pressures or circumstances might be fueling your teenager’s emotional response?

Here is a 6 minute and 29 second video from a recent Parent Seminar that talks more about understanding the Physical Changes that are going on inside of your teenager. Understanding these changes can give you the context you need to RESPOND instead of REACT to their wild mood swings. Follow this link to watch the video: http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/48888063/ff98940e88

Thanks again for being a part of this online parenting class.

My goal is to encourage you, and open the lines of communication between our church and your home. With that in mind, feel free to email me any questions or prayer requests you may have.

Have a great day,

Ricc
P.S. The youth website is a great tool for information and staying connected (www.brandonyouth.com).

REACTING VS. RESPONDING PART 1

What is the Difference Between Reacting & Responding?

Responding To Your Teen in a Healthy Way!

To The Amazing Parents of FUSION,

What is the difference between Reacting and Responding?

Actually there is a huge difference. If you and I can understand that difference we can build bridges instead of walls in our relationships with teenagers.

This month’s online parenting class is focused on helping you as a parent learn some tips to “Respond” to your teenager in a healthy way.

I want to start by sharing a great example from an experienced mom of teenagers:
It was my favorite lip gloss! Burt’s Bees (the tinted one, no less) is not exactly cheap. And did I mention it was my favorite? What could she possibly have been thinking? Every sane person knows that when lip balm is left in a warm car, it tends to get soft. So what would possess her to twist it till it was all the way up and then try to push it back down into the tube? Really? Of course it split right down the middle.

This would have been the perfect time to teach my teen the difference between reacting and responding. I failed. Again. There were so many ways to do this better. I could have said anything other than “What in the world do you think you are doing? Did you even think through that?”

How am I ever going to teach my child this lesson if I can’t get it myself? Reactions are governed by emotions, while responses are governed by the ability to think through the situation. That means closing our mouths and not saying the first thing that pops into our heads, which is usually critical.

Not so easy when our teen is hurling their attitude at us with acute precision. Don’t kid yourself. They know our buttons and are not above pushing them. Over and over and over. I think they have created a fantasy league where they earn points by pushing us over the edge again and again! But how different would our relationships be with our teens if we responded rationally to their attacks instead of reacting immediately?

There is one tool that I use that is helping me learn this concept. It’s called breathing. I know, profound, right? But you would be amazed at how well this works! First, it gives you a moment to lower your blood pressure. Extra oxygen always helps. And those few precious moments it takes to breathe a few extra times may be the difference between teaching them and arguing with them. I will take teaching every time!
______________________________________________

I want to challenge all of the parents in our ministry to memorize with me a short verse to help us “breathe” when our teenager’s stir up anger in us.

So, your homework for this week’s class is to look up Proverbs 15:1, memorize it, and repeat it to yourself every time your teenager tries to push your buttons. Are you with me?
As always, if you have any questions or prayer concerns please respond to this email and let me know.

Your Parenting Partner,

Ricc

Part 2 of March's Parenting Class

Today we are asking the question, "How do you pass down faith to your teenager?"

Let's begin by watching this 3 minute video...



Deuteronomy 6:4-9 gives us our mission from God as parents:

"Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

I want to quickly unpack this job description for parents into 3 action steps that you can do today to begin passing down faith in your home:

1. Put It In Your Heart First - "these commands...are to be on your hearts"

You can't give away what you don't have.  You can't inspire someone else to do something unless it inspires you first.  If you want your teenager to by fueled by their faith than make sure that it what is fueling you.

ACTION STEP: Consider planning a spiritual retreat for yourself.  You could get away for just a few hours or you could invest a whole week in a focused time with God.  It may feel selfish, but filling your own heart spiritually allows it the ability to spill over into the life of your family.

2. INFUSE Faith into Everyday Life - "talk about them when you sit at home"

The center of spiritual activity for your family should be your home.  Many times we believe that should be the church.  In God's blueprint for passing down faith He sets up parents to be the leaders and the home to be the main stage.

ACTION STEP: Brainstorm ways you can discuss faith with your teenager daily.  Practice intentional conversation about spiritual matters this week.  It could be a simple as leaving your teenager a note with your favorite verse and encouraging word.  It makes a difference.

3. USE Symbols and Ceremonies to Pass Down Faith - "Tie them as symbols on your hands"

If you read the Bible you will quickly see that God values symbols and ceremonies as a way of giving faith away to the next generation.  The Hebrew word for "impress" in verse 7 literally means to "tattoo".  God made the hearts and minds of children and He knew that the way to "tattoo" faith on their hearts was to give them symbols they can touch and ceremonies they can experience.

ACTION STEP: What are some Christian symbols and ceremonies you can bring into your home and lead your family to experience together.  Fusion Student Ministries has created these kinds of experiences you can do with your teenager.  Go check out the Rites of Passage Experience we have for you by clicking the icon below:



God sure did give us an important job, didn't he?  The encouragement we have for you today is that you are not alone in this task.  God Himself will give you all that you need to accomplish His will as a parent.  Also, our church's Student Ministry stands ready to partner with you in this task.  This is why we started Parent Connect University an online parenting class and we are making the Rites of Passage Experience available to your family.

I would love to hear your questions, thoughts, or continued discussion.

Your Partner,

Ricc

P.S. Feel free to forward these emails to any parents of teenagers you know.

Parenting Class Week 1

Online Parenting Class

Dear Parents,

This is a BIG DAY in our ministry. I am starting our online parenting class in this email. I hope that you will find this experience extremely helpful and informative.

Today we are going to begin by talking about your will….Do you have a will? You know, the paper that they pull out when you die to see who gets your stuff.  The process of preparing a will is not fun. The lawyer asks you, “If you die who will you give your stuff to?” You say, “Give it to my spouse.” The lawyer quickly responds, “and if your spouse dies who will you give your stuff to?”

This goes on and on until it seems like everyone is dead and you are so frustrated you consider telling the lawyer that they can have it!  When you write a will you figure out how you are going to leave your stuff, but what about the stuff that matters most?  What values are you going to leave your teenager?  What will you teach them about what is right and wrong in this world?  What will your teenager know about faith?

Our student ministry wants to help you leave a rich inheritance to your teenager of the stuff that really matters.  That is why we want to introduce you to the Rites of Passage Experience. We are going to help you have the conversations with your teenager that matter the most.

We are going to give you the tools to infuse faith into the most import moments in life.  Here are the 7 Rites of Passage we are going to encourage you to lead your teenager through:

• 6th Grade – Preparation for Adolescence
• 7th Grade – Blessing Ceremony
• 8th Grade – Purity Weekend
• 9th Grade – Driving Contract
• 10th Grade – Money Matters
• 11th Grade – Family Tree
• 12th Grade – Manhood/Womanhood Ceremony.

I want to finish today’s class by asking you to watch this 3 minute video. It explains the Rites of Passage Experience we are launching as the foundation of our Parent Ministry.  You can see it by clicking the logo below:

As always please feel free to reply to this email with any questions about the Rites of Passage Experience or prayer requests.

Your Partner,

Ricc